Catwoman: Halle Berry in a cat suit (and there`s some kind of story for the girlfriend too).

The Notebook. It’s not for boys.

Dirty Dancing – not quite what you were thinking/hoping.

“The Exorcist – Oh what a feelin`, when you`re dancin on the ceiling”

Jaws. Bite me.

The Usual Suspects… What the….?

Spiderman… because pigs cant spin webs!

Rocky 7…. This time he won’t need a gum shield because he has no teeth.

The Godfather 3 – An offer Coppola couldn’t refuse (even though the rest of us could).

Transformers. The franchise starts now.

War of the Buttons – the battle between needle and thread.

The Hulk, definitely not the jolly green giant.

Into the West… expect long delays.

Mad Max Nine. Beyond the nursing home.

Saving Private Ryan. Jaysus is it really worth it lads?!

Braveheart. A man in a skirt, but boy has he got balls!

The Football Factory. They don’t make footballs.

The Empire Strikes Back… Who’s your Daddy?

Die Hard 4: Die Hard with a pension.

Mary Poppins. “The Rihanna Story” (Umbrella)

Rocky 6. Ageing bull.

A Clockwork Orange… It’s not Terry’s, its mine.

Die Hard. If you build it, he will blow it up.

The Departed. The Aer Lingus conspiracy.

If Carlsberg made films… The Shawshank Redemption… Probably the best film in the world.

The Passion of the Christ. So good they made it into a book.

Eyes Wide Shut. Legs Wide Open.