Commandments of the Irish road…

Only posting this now so sorry again! On the back of the Vatican’s commandments of the road last week we asked you for your thou shall and thou shall nots of the Irish road…

I shall not ride my pie ball pony dozen main road whilst shirtless ,sweaty man boobs bouncin everywhere whilst gripping die new farmer trader nd pint of milk

Thou shall use hybrid cars to save thy planet, stop this rain and save thy sanity through thy wallet.

Thou shalt not think the road belongs to just you!

Thou shallt not sit in ur tree and poop on my cinquecento sit on thy neighbours and poop on the bmw,

Thou shalt not blow the horn and congratulate a line of 20 men taking a pee along the side of the road like they,ve just won an oscar. It,s digusting.

Thou shalt not cast vexation wrath and fury on thy neighbour by not gettin in to the slow lane on a main road behind the two artic lorries u will not pass out, holding up all thy neighbours and coveting their time is a mortal sin…. Shame on u!

Th shalt not give me an evil look because i’m a twenty something male with a nice car and you are a soccer mom with a people carrier or super huge suv! Especially when your extended stare causes you to knock down a large ice.cream cone outside the local school…

Thou shalt not drive around the town for four hours non stop in your bright green ford Fiesta thinkin you are the next michael shoemacker with shake that ass on repeat blaring from your two euro radio..!!

Thou shall not brush teeth and spit out window, shave, gel hair and change shirt, socks and shoes all whilst stuck in dublin traffic! I hav seen the above with mine own eyes, no lie!

Thou shall not get the wing of aeroplane an stick it on boot of car an think it cool.

Thou shalt not deface dine car with playboy bunny transferes and a big exhast.

Thou shal not conk thy car in front a load of fit lads

Thou shalt not bring a fake stirring wheel for the passenger side & drive around at 5mph acting the eejit!.

Thou shalt not drive thine civic at 4mph down d street wit ur shirt off, ur arm hanging out d window, nd bob marley blaring from ur cd player, waiting for someone to make eye contact wit u so u can kick d shit out of dem

Thou shalt not flash and beep anothr from thine articulatd while on thine phone when thou hast not used indicators and thou were in the wrong lane. Thine size does not give thee power.

Thou shalt learn the rules of the road .

Thou shalt not leave a passenger to control the wheel while you light a cigarette!

Thou shalt not paint thy toenails while thy drive…

Thou shalt not forget everyone is not physic on a roundabout!

Tho shalt not put petrol into your sons diesel car!

Thou shall not drive a one litre pile of scrap, done up like a christmas turkey with an exhaust like a wavin pipe, and claim to be a “car modification enthusiast”.

Thou shall not drive ur honda civic type r up and down the town all night in first gear while thinkin your super cool. When infact your only a little muppet makin noise.

Thou shalt not dominate the road because of a yellow sign on the roof.

Thy shall not feed the baby whlle driving on the m50.

Thou shalt not spend money on stupid accessorys such as furry dice,go faster stripes,blue lights,loud exhaust,wooden spoiler,plastic spinners

Thou shalt not sit so far bak in ther car that it looks like the back seat passenger in drivin! 🙂

Thou shalt not driveth a tractor, a lorry with a tractor on the back or a tractor lorry with a tractor on the back between 8 and 9 in the morning wheni am headin to work.

Thou shalt always reverse by opening the door and sticking out thy head at speeds of about 50 mph.

Though shalt not be angry with the minister for still having bad roads despite horrendeous road taxes, as he is not divine.

Thou shalt use indicators on roundabouts

Thou shalt not drive a chiquento at 80km per hour in the fast lane on the motorway and refuse to move over or speed up

Thou shalt not pick your nose in traffic if you dont have tinted windows.

Thou shalt not pick thine nose and eat it whilst driving!

Thou shalt not drive on the road if ur old and senile! If u hav 2 lean that near to the steering wheel ya obviously cnt see that far ahead!

Thou shalt not dry your hair with the air vents while driving!

Thou shalt not txt radio competitions whilst drivin. Ha

Thou shalt not drive and eat breakfast and do your make up and switch lanes when your not supposed to causing people (Like me) to have a heart attack!

Thou shalt not criticise drivers of the female sex.we,in fact,are much better drivers than the men folk.

Thou shalt not change ur underware whilst driving

Thou shalt not stop your truck in the middle of the road get out and start threatin the man in the car behind the truck!

Thou shalt not covet your neighbours driving space.

Thou shalt put on indicators before brake lights.

Thou shalt put thy children into the back of thy car with seatbelts on and not allow to jump around thy car.

Thou shall not listen to a woman in the passenger seat when a man is driving.

Thou shall only listen to 2fm while drivin. All other station jus make u mad.

Thou shall listen to 2fm and not worship other false radio stations ………stephen co donegal

Thou shall not drive unaccompanied with l plates

Thou shalt not ask your fit neighbour to a dogging session in your new mercedes m class .

Thow shall not over take an 18 wheeler and pull back in at the last minute when the traffic is stopped in front

Thou shalt not attempt an acute turn on a crossroads in an 18 wheeler lorry.

Thou shalt use indicators at every juntion, NOT only at special occasions like xmas!!

Thou shalt not blow your horn at cows on the road. they wouldnt do it to u!!

Thou shalt not leave thy fog lights on when its not foggy and thou shalt not brake when you see a car coming towards you.

Thou shalt be swift of steering to avoid pot holes around blind corners.

Thou shalt not, if thou be-ist a driver of buses, drive 1 handed whilst conversing with thine acquaintances on ur mobile.

Thou shall use the wee blinking stick at every turn and thou shall not apply makeup while driving or it cud really be an eye for an eye

They shalt not drive a silage tractor through town while talking on the phone and drinking lucozae at the same time.

Thou shalt not be a bastard bastard tractor on the main road with a bare torso shit eating grin plastered to your face holding up one mile of traffic oblivious to the whole world outside your cabin and no working on bank holidays either

Thou shalt not try to park in dunnes stores car park in suv whilst on the phone 2 ur mother n tellin the kids 2 sit down in the back

Thou shalt not drive modified cars and play loud pop music while pretendin to a hard man or woman while drivin around a roundabout. God says this simply aint cool!

Thou shalt not put me off thy path whilst i passeth thee in my cart for i shall hit thy hedge with my cart. i shall cast thee down if thou doest this.

Thou shall not smoke a Fag plus talk on the phone while steering with your elbows whilst on the m50, even though you are breaking hard to show your a safe driver..

Thou shall use your indicators they are not a fashion accessory

Thou shalt not drive constantly at 10k less than the speed limit for fear of ever reaching it.

Thou shall use your indicator and shall not change clothes while driving! also thou shall not splash innocent bystanders, no matter how fun it is!

Thou shall put police check points on the country were most road deaths happen instead of the city centre

Thou shall not drive thy motor if thou hast reached thy 60th birthday, thou shall stay at home with thy cats and knit wooly jumpers and drink thy complan. So commandeth yoda!

Thou shalt not hav a man in an illuminus green jacket wit a Stop & Go sign in d middle of the road wen theres rd works going on,

Ni cheadtar gabhail thar nuair ata me ag tiomaint ag an teorainn i gCEO agus muid ag teastail bothar an cheathrun rua, ionas go raibh ar an duine eile tiomaint ar an gcosan chun an buachaill baire a sheacaint.

Thou shalt not overtake me in fog when i’m driving at the limit towards an ceathru rua and the approaching car has to go up on the footpath to avoid the boy racer. Amen.

1.Thou shalt use indicators,2.thou shalt learn who has the right of way on a roundabout,3.thou shalt not overtake on a bend,4.thou shalt learn how 2 drive on country rds(for the dubs!),5.thou shalt learn how 2 use breaks,6.thou shalt learn how 2 turn on the fog light in fog!7.thou shalt keep distance from the car in front instead of driving up on its arse!8.thou shalt learn 2 turn full lights off when driving behind another car,9.sorry thats all i can think off.

Thou shall not look in the windows of parked cars while taking the dog for a walk

Thou shalt not drive while steering with your elbows and playing the tin whistle

Thou shalt not run a red light even if your mc donals is goin cold….

Thou shalt not take up 2 parking spaces,just because you drive a big bmw or an suv.

Thou shalt not drive at speed through large puddles near bus stops and laugh at anyone unfortunate enough be standing there.

Tom’s eyes started to go a bit boggly after that…


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