If I Don’t Turn Up For Work Tomorrow…

I should explain something here before I show you what I’m about to show you. I don’t make new friends easily. There are few new people I like that I’d want to spend more than a cursory amount of time with. I’m not anti-social, far from it, just that at 35 it can be hard to meet new people who are on your wavelength to any appreciable degree. I’ve met a few in the last year or so, they know who they are and two of them are a couple.

They rock. Seriously.

Fun to be out with, check on you if they think you’re down, invite you to their gaff, come along when you need gig buddies, prodigious drinking capabilities. I adore them. I have no intention of outing them here as they know who they are. I’m even meeting one of them for a pint after work tonight.

And then there was this.

Yesterday I got wind of what the pair of them, bored in work for the day, had been doing.

See, they’re obsessed with me being a double of Life On Mars star John Simm, to the point where these were put together during the day.



Should I worry? Are they likely to try abducting my when I’m drunk later on and tying me up in their place, forcing me to pretend I’m The Master and read lines of Dr Who dialogue dancing to Voodoo Child?

Should I run?

Like now?

I’m worried.

14 thoughts on “If I Don’t Turn Up For Work Tomorrow…

  1. It’s far too late to even consider running. By the time they’ve gotten around to such antics, they’ve already planted the bugging/tracking devices, and had the bunny boiling on the stove for months….

  2. I wouldn’t trust them Rick. Seriously, not even a little.

    I met a couple like that. Invited me out, back to their place, bag of ice and a scar in my side later they’re refusing to answer my emails. The same thing could happen to you. They could also end up tying your ass to your face… and that’s only if you’re lucky…

  3. you’re better looking than him. and i’m not saying that because i pseudo-know you either… and no, i aint tryin to pick you up either 🙂

  4. Since when have you needed encouragement to quote The Master in Doctor Who. I bet you even have a Laser Screwdriver somewhere over there.

    Now tap out the rhythm…
    Rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat.

  5. The comment about being 35 and not making friends reminds me of Seinfeld…

    “When you’re in your thirties, it’s very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the group is that you’ve got now, that’s who you’re going with.

    You’re not interviewing, you’re not looking at any new people, you’re not interested in seeing any applications. They don’t know the places, they don’t know the food, they don’t know the activities. If I’m introduced to some friendly guy at a club or a gym, it’s like ‘Hey, look, I’m sure you’re a very nice person, you seem to have a lot of potential – we’re just not hiring right now.’

    Of course, when you’re a kid, you can be friends with anybody. There were almost no qualifications. If someone’s in front of my house now, that’s my friend, they’re my friend, that’s it. ‘Are you a grown-up? No? Great, c’mon in!’ And if you have anything in common at all – ‘You like cherry soda? I like cherry soda. We’ll be best friends!'”

  6. Um, ok, in the face of such conclusive evidence I can no longer argue that you don’t look a little bit like John Sim.

    They must have spent a long time matching photos!

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